it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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