Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
