I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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