i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
How external is "for external use only"?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
