Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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