I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
