i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
