And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
