If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
