This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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