i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
