For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
