Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
