pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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