some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
