i barfeds in our rink
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
