You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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