1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize