it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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