also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
