worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
