It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
