Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Pants are for mortals
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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