God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
