Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
