Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
okay pat passed out under dana's car
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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