Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
