If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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