glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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