I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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