I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize