It's Friday. Sex?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
