morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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