Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
