I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize