too bad you live with your parents still
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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