So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
