so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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