Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
