She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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