Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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