i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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