you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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