Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
