Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
