I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
