I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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