their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
