careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
