her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize