I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
