Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
