That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
