big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
