Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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