quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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