You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
