The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
