??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Randomize
