We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I am available for nakedness
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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