i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
