Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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