shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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