Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i out mim tonsoeep
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
